The Undeniable Power of the Moustache

Why did Captain Ahab ultimately fail in his quest for the Head of the White Whale?

The answer to that question is actually absurdly simple. He lacked the Moustache and the Undeniable Power that it grants unto its wearer/owner. While his beard was no doubt admirable (digitally pictured here as interpreted by Gregory Peck), he lacked the one facial feature that might have put him over the top...

MOUSTACHE!

-The Pogonologist