Baseball Beards

Vir Pelosus aut fortis aut libidinosus.

The tradition of the Baseball Beard is practically non-existent. However, the game of cricket gave rise to at least one famous beard, that of W.G. Grace (digitally rendered at left).

Over the course of his expansive career, Grace had over 2,800 wickets, which is probably very impressive. On top of all those wonderful wickets, there was the beautiful beard. But because of the intrinsically potent animal nature of the beard, combined with the tendency of members of Anglo-centric societies to rise up against those who go against the grain, controversy inevitably arouse.

Grace, this magnificently bearded cricketer from the 19th century, came under fire from various critics for his burly beard, "a beard of such magnificence that some considered to be against the rules, a dangerous distraction in a hard-fought game." Instead of turning tail and shaving like a cowardly conformist, W.G., as he was popularly known, encouraged his teammates to grow beards of their own.

It is in this spirit of open rebellion that I encourage C.C. Sabathia, newly acquired by the Milwaukee Brewers, to grow his beard out, even if the Brew Crew are really only "renting" him until the conclusion of the season. This encouragement is extended not only to C.C., but to the entire squad. Huzzah!

For, in the words of a ill-remembered Latin proverb, "a hairy man is either strong or libidinous."

May the mightiest and/or most sex-crazed team prevail. And please, don't forget to wash those Baseball Beards.

-The Pogonologist