Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Fox Sports Fails The Moustache

The world-wide-web division of Fox Sports has vomited up what constitutes some of the laziest reporting on the Moustache that I have borne witness to.

"Best Baseball Moustaches" fails on a number of counts, too many to world-wide-weblog about, given the length of original piece. However, I shall list a few of the many failings.

1) Only 7 moustaches are present. And while I cannot argue with the presence of The Mad Hungarian on the list, I can argue that 7 is a pretty weak number for a list. (Even a world-wide-web list.) I am not going to argue that here, though, as this is a world-wide-web log dedicated to pogonology (the study of the beard in all its forms), and not a world-wide-web log devoted to criticizing internet lists, many of which are very, very weak. Personally, I would have gone for at least 10 great moustaches. 20 would be better.

2) Hazarding a guess, it would appear that the feature takes advantage only of those digitized photographs of moustaches which are more or less easy to obtain, i.e., nothing from baseball's early days. While it is true that facial hair scholarship on the antediluvian period of pre-mass media baseball history is sorely lacking, Fox Sports would have done well to dig a little deeper than the moustaches of the 1970s. D+ for effort on this one, Fox Sports world-wide-web division. Intern Ricky (or whoever compiled this piece) needs to move away from content compilation and get back to coffee creation.

3) The Milwaukee Brewers got s*** on. Okay, sure, Rollie Fingers is sitting pretty at #2, but the digitized photograph, no doubt easily obtained, does not feature him in uniform. And what of the 1973 Milwaukee Brewers in general? Yes, they only won 74 games and finished 5th in the division that year, but their moustaches were glorious. My theory - a Cubs fan made this list. A second theory - the Cubs still suck.

4) The Oakland A's of the 1970s are sorely lacking as well, with the exception of Mr. Fingers, as per the above. But I'm a Brewers fan, so who really cares.

I cannot begin to comment on the accompanying video. I can vomit on it, however.

LOVERS OF THE BASEBALL MOUSTACHE, UNITE!

-The Pogonologist

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